I used to think that a woman/girl needed to dress a certain way or act a certain way before she could attract certain behaviors from men. Oh No, I was so wrong! Reflecting on my journey in a community that forced us to accept our circumstances as ‘weaker vessels,’ and forced us to accept phrases like “USE WHAT YOU HAVE TO GET WHAT YOU WANT.” I’m beginning to understand the true menace of sexual harassment. From the painful experiences of friends and my struggles, I’ve seen how deeply this issue affects us, perpetuating a culture of victim-shaming and fear.
While I watch my dreams and aspirations go down the drain, my neighbor promises to take responsibility for my needs only if I agree to scratch his back while he does mine. Caught in the web of uncertainty, I wept, as I knew I had to make a decision that would cater to my present needs in exchange for my dreams. My consolation, however, was that I had a choice to decide, unlike my dear friend who was offered on the altar of society’s decadence. She seemed to be in a more unfortunate situation than I am. I still see her crying in my dreams before her demise while trying to abort the child that stems from the abominable act of her stepfather, who constantly abused her sexually. In her words, “My mother believes I’m lying about my stepfather’s actions towards me and that I’m a terrible child who wants to split her union”.
Alas, it is beginning to make sense to me, that truly Sexual harassment is a menace that needs to be curtailed in our various communities. Especially at a time when the adults we thought would protect us, are forced, due to difficult times and their inability to meet our needs, to push us toward these predators in exchange for money to escape starvation. Gradually, we have come to believe that maybe, this is our fate. Nevertheless, I still wish to achieve my goal of becoming the first medical doctor in my family, even though this dream still seems so far-fetched.
It is indeed tragic and deeply troubling that rape victims in our community are often unjustly accused of dressing indecently, with the insinuation that their attire is intended to seduce or provoke the “guys.” This harmful and misguided belief not only shifts the blame from the perpetrators to the victims but also perpetuates a culture of victim-shaming. Such accusations ignore the fundamental issue that no one, regardless of their clothing or appearance, ever deserves to be assaulted. I laugh in disgust as I remember the case of Halima, a girl who is always found decently dressed in her long Jalabiya, yet, she was still gang raped. Of course, I waited for a justification, and as usual, our very own society swept the case under the carpet, again. How I wish justice could take its full course in our cases.
Addressing this issue requires a concerted effort from all members of the community and with the realization that Sexual harassment can manifest in many forms, each instance leaves a profound impact on the victims, affecting their mental and emotional well-being, and often leading to long-term psychological trauma. The issue of sexual harassment not only undermines the dignity and safety of individuals but also perpetuates a culture of fear and inequality.
Myself and the likes of Halima are victims of sexual harassment that drew strength and sympathized with each other when faced with unfortunate situations and dealing with the stigma that has changed our lives, growing a thick skin for future unfortunate experiences and accepting our fate until something remarkable in our community happens.
But amidst the darkness, there’s hope, we had a breath of fresh air, and a light at the end of the tunnel, when heard and understood the word “SAFE SPACE”. Initiatives like the HACEY safe space have given us a lifeline, teaching us about our rights and helping us rebuild our self-esteem. The HACEY safe space was introduced to us to help build various aspects of our lives varying from mental health, financial literacy, life skills, and sexual orientation/ assistance, amongst others. During lectures, we began to understand that we actually had a right and still have an opportunity to dream again even with our scars. The little hope we long sought was found, and our self-esteem was gradually built while struggling to overcome our fears. The opportunity to meet a non-judgmental counselor who understood our plights and continually advised us when we were at our lowest, was nothing short of a relief.
We won’t let this evil thrive in silence, and with time, we will be at the level of suing these perpetrators, but at least we now know our rights. Our community must recognize the need to support and stand with the victims, challenging these baseless accusations and working towards a society where the dignity and safety of every individual are respected, cultivating a culture of support for victims, where they are believed, respected, and provided with the necessary resources to heal and seek justice.
By collectively acknowledging the severity of sexual harassment and taking proactive steps to combat it, we can work towards creating communities where everyone can feel safe and valued, and only through such efforts, we can hope to eliminate this menace and build a more just and equitable society for all.
