Nearly every parent is unprepared to bear the unimaginable anguish that comes with the unexpected death of a child at any age. All of your expectations regarding childrearing are dashed in an instant. Experiencing a stillbirth or a miscarriage can bring on a level of emotional grief that is on par with that brought on by other types of loss.
Even though the grieving process is unique to each individual, the various expressions of grief that follow the death of a child generally share the same common denominators of excruciating pain and anguish.
How can you learn to deal with the feelings of rage, grief, and pain that you are experiencing after the death of your child? And, will you ever be able to recover from this? As you try to make sense of your loss, these are the kinds of questions that are sure to come up in your head.
When you are grieving the loss of a baby at or before birth, you will need to pay immediate attention to a number of different things, as if dealing with this devastating news wasn’t enough. This article will shed light on some essential information regarding miscarriage and stillbirth that you should be aware of.
After going through the trauma of a miscarriage or a stillbirth, you may look for answers as to why you were unable to have a child. It’s possible that you’ll start questioning everything about your lifestyle, from the way you eat and sleep to the manner in which you breathe, all in an effort to ensure that your unborn child receives the highest possible amount of oxygen. It is imperative that you keep in mind not to be hard on yourself about it and to stop trying to assign blame in situations in which you have no control.
There are many different reasons why a woman might miscarry, and these reasons can vary from woman to woman as well as from one pregnancy to the next. There are a variety of factors that can contribute to this condition, including hormonal imbalances, the mother’s age when she became pregnant, traumatic experiences, and an unhealthful lifestyle, such as excessive consumption of caffeine and smoking. There isn’t always an explanation as to why a woman will have a miscarriage or lose a child while it’s still developing inside of them.
You should give some thought to maintaining a memory box in which you store all of the unique mementos of your pregnancy and your child’s early years. Consider including a copy of any sonograms or other ultrasound imaging in the package if you have had any of these procedures done. It is important to acknowledge both your baby and your loss in order to be able to successfully work through the grieving process as the weeks and months pass by after the death of a loved one.
Be assured that you are not the only person going through this, as the experience of having a miscarriage is unique to each person. There are a lot of women who have been through this kind of loss, and listening to their personal stories of love, loss, and bereavement can help you through the process of healing.
Some women are able to recover from the effects of this kind of loss with less work than others, but all of them will have deeper wounds. If you are struggling with feelings of profound loss and despair, one option you should consider is joining a support group with other people who have been through the experience of losing a child at or before birth.
The purpose of attending a support group is not to diminish the unique grieving process that you are going through, but rather to facilitate the formation of meaningful connections with others who can empathize with your situation. There is absolutely no justification for grieving on one’s own. You can become a lifeline for one another as you share in one another’s losses and talk openly about the child that you yearned for but did not end up having along the way. Hacey is working hard to make sure that pregnant women and women in general have access to comprehensive support for their health.
To learn more about our Maternal Health project visit www. hacey.org
Written By:
Michael Adegboye
